Toys R Us Kid
It's 6:34 in the morning here, and I cannot sleep worth anything. I've been up since five. Last night I cooked dinner for my mom and her friend where they are staying at my friend's apartment. We drank four bottles of wine between the three of us, so you'd think I would have slept well. But no. So now I am looking through all of the blogs of my friends, and have come to discover that Kathleen is getting married, which is awesome. Also, her brother and his wife are having a baby.
A part of me feels really, really old when I hear these things. Everyone I know is getting, like, real jobs, houses, and spouses and kids are popping out everywhere. At the same time, I feel extremely young and immature because I myself don't even have a girlfriend or crush, a job that pays much more than what one would make at McDonald's, a car (not that I'd want one...) or health insurance. I considered paying 20 euros the other day for the shoes that I desperately needed a major purchase decision (the composition of the others was beginning to lean too much towards epoxy and bike tire to render them remotely water resistant). I guess you could call my lifestyle bohemian, and make it all romantical sounding, but it's really just a function of being absolutely free and mostly poor. Walking around the Louvre the other day, or having a picnic on a windy hill overlooking Rouen, I realized that I wouldn't trade any of it for the security/comfort of a house or a car or marriage. I'm fine with living my life the way I do, and feel no pressure to change it. It's nice to be able to say, "I'm going to Prague, and I don't know what I'm going to do there for a week, but I will sure as hell enjoy it." I have no dogs or children (not that I see them as the same amount of responsibility, mind you) to pawn off on someone to take care of, no house that needs watching or plants that need watering, no significant other to placate. So, really, I haven't grown up in many senses of the word, like "Having Responsibilities". But why would you want that, anyway? Now, after having written this blathering nonsense, I'm tired. If the walk home wakes me up, a bike ride is in order. If not, I'll just crash in my bed.