Crappy, crappy day
So today has just plain sucked. Period. I don't think elaborating will sound anything less than whining, but whine I shall. Got up in a foul mood in the first place, and even though I didn't have class this morning, I was still pissed off because I didn't get paid, and there is no news of my possible job yet.
It being the first nice day we've had in awhile as far is the weather is concerned, I thought I might go for a lovely bike ride. The other day, just when I got my bike working perfectly, a spoke on the brand new back wheel broke. So this morning I fixed it, also discovering that the cassette is making a grinding noise when the freewheel is engaged, and that the tire and rim are, after close inspection, tubeless. This means instead of a tube inside the tire, the tire is just one big, thick tube that is glued to the rim and more expensive/a hassle to replace if you put a hole in it. This is my own damn fault and I kicked myself for it, but changed out the spoke anyway and decided to just ride.
When I ride, normally, it takes everything that is wrong with the world and makes me forget it. Biking is my salvation. Today, though, after fixing a spoke on the back wheel and riding down to the beach, I broke yet another spoke on the fucking front wheel. Yes, another one. Riding along at a slow pace. That's two in two days. Why the hell can my bike not just work like it's supposed to? When the thing you use to relieve all of the stress and problems in your life is a constant source of consternation, what do you do then?
On top of it I feel all emo and alone and ugly. It is one of those days where I look in the mirror and see something resembling a monkey more than a human being. Not one of those more simian chimpanzees, but rather an organgutan that is considered ugly even by other orangutans.
Usually when I feel bad about what happens to me and who I am, I try to reflect on the problems other people have in the world that are worse than mine. Like poverty and motherless children and people with cancer and such. Today, it hasn't helped. At all. Nothing has. Or will, seemingly. It's just made me feel guilty that I'm not happy being well-fed, American and privileged. The only midly bright thing that happened today was that there was a couple of good lines I found in Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass". I might post them tomorrow when I'm feeling less sorry for myself.
posted by Nick at 7:46 AM
5 Comments:
cheer up! there are puppies and fresh grass and flowers!
good news, American media is finally paying attention to the protests in France, NY Times link.
3/28/2006 09:20:00 AM
Fuck grass and puppies, man (and I know you do).
I miss the hell out of you, Nick. Not that my liking you makes you cool; it merely demonstrates it. There's a lot of stuff going on here in good ol' Iowa that would be better and more fun if you were here. And when I remember you (which I do fondly), there's no ugly involved. Really. Kudos for mustering the energy to write anything down, though, at least.
Did you know Abbott has a girlfriend? And there's a rumor about someone else we know getting married?
3/28/2006 11:01:00 AM
Remember when we used to joke that we'd piss on each other's bed to be asses? Whenever I feel down, I just think, well, at least Nick isn't pissing on my bed right now. Then I go home, and what do you know, my bed is dry and free of Nick Piss.
I bet right now your bed is dry and free of Mike Piss. Reason: I can't afford to fly to france just to piss on your bed. But if I could, you know it buddy, I'd piss all over your bed.
Miss you!
Chelsea - who's getting married?
Abbott + gf = much confusion.
3/28/2006 11:34:00 AM
Oh, a tubular tire. People pay (lots of) good money over here for the hassle of having them. Enjoy!
3/28/2006 06:22:00 PM
I know just the cure...
Remember the Simpsons episode when the Simpson family went on vacation to some beach and Lisa was feeling all depressed because no one signed her yearbook? And she met all these 'cool kids' at the vacation spot and started hanging out with them? And Bart brought Milhouse along on the trip and Homer, Marge, Milhouse and Bart were playing some board game (it was something weird like a dating game or something), and there Bart picked a date card and the character on the card looked like Milhouse. And Homer was like, "Hey, that looks like you, Pointdexter." And Bart said that he was feeling down about Lisa hanging out with all the cool kids while he was stuck at the cabin, and Homer was like, "Yeah, I'd be sad too if I had to hang out with Pointdexter over here." Remember that one?
Well, okay, I admit that I don't exactly remember all the details of that episode either. Frankly, I made up most of what I just wrote, except that I do remember Homer calling Milhouse "Pointdexter" a bunch of times, which is, by itself, fricking hilarious.
And Nick, just face it, you're a beautiful person... inside and out. Seriously. And you don't have to worry about being alone. We can always move in with each other and be radical bachelors for the rest of our lives! (We'll bring Mike into the mix, too.)
3/28/2006 08:36:00 PM
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